Grammy Thoughts

Record of the Year (performers/producers):

Adele, "Chasing Pavements"
Coldplay, "Viva la Vida"
Leona Lewis, "Bleeding Love"
M.I.A., "Paper Planes"
Robert Plant & Alison Krauss, "Please Read The Letter"

(No wonder people hate the fucking Grammys. "A" for diversity, but like, holy crap, there were a lot of better songs put out this year. "Please Read this Letter" is good but not ROTY-worthy, at all. Adele FUCKING BLOWS. Winehouse and Duffy fulfill the quota of soulful white chicks, they are not a desired commodity. "Viva La Vida" has to be the favorite, both because it's Coldplay and because none of the other songs match its ubiquity -- which seems to be the sole criterion on which these awards are doled out. Plus, Eno did it, and it's a producer's award, so whatever. "Paper Planes" is surprisingly catchy, and this is coming from someone who really doesn't like M.I.A., but I'd be shocked if it won. Few things in the world could be worse for M.I.A.'s hard-earned rep than winning Record of the Year. Lastly, "Bleeding Love" isn't even Leona Lewis's best song of this year, so that's a fail.)

Album of the Year:

Radiohead, In Rainbows
Coldplay, Viva La Vida or the Death of All His Friends
Ne-Yo, Year of the Gentleman
Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III
Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, Raising Sand

(Gambling here. I think it's between Raising Sand or Viva La Vida... But the Plant album was a total critics' darling, Led Zeppelin famously never received any Grammy acclaim during their heyday, and Alison Krauss is hot. Seems sufficient. In Rainbows is obviously the best album, and perhaps there's a chance they get thrown a bone like Scorsese did for The Departed, but I'd bet against. More likely that they take "Best Alt. Album" or some crap. GG. Viva La Vida... is a really good album, even though the risks it takes aren't really risky at all. A lot like All That You Can't Leave Behind. Lil Wayne put out a pretty sweet album, but it doesn't have a chance, as it's a token nomination. Ne-Yo, let me state clearly, is FUCKING ATROCIOUS. Like horrible. What the fuck... He and Chris Brown should tie themselves to one another and jump off a bridge.)

Song of the Year (writers):

Adele Adkins, "Chasing Pavements"
Coldplay, "Viva La Vida"
Sara Bareilles, "Love Song"
Estelle feat. Kanye West, "American Boy"
Jason Mraz, "I'm Yours"

(Again, Adele is bad. Just stop. But looking at this, I honestly have no idea. These are some terrible fucking songs. "Viva La Vida" is all production, it's not a well-written song. Jason Mraz is one of the worst people alive, and seems like he's about to go Born Again if he hasn't already. "American Boy" is honestly awful. One of the worst hooks I've ever heard. You should never be featuring Kanye -- as he's a totally awful rapper -- but I guess that comes with the turf when he writes the tune. Will.i.am produced, another sign of generic crap. "Love Song" is legitimately catchy, but not really SOTY material. I'd have to double down on Coldplay here, even though it's so lame. Just an all-around awful set of nominees.)

P.S. Please explain how the Radiohead song they pick for "Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals" is "House of Cards." Did they even listen to the album?