Saturday, January 31, 2009

A Low-Resolution Hype Williams "Collage"



Hire ethnic women. Have them dance. Hold camera near the ground. Profit. Immensely.



Classic Hype, giving me what I always wanted -- front-row seats to Usher doing the moonwalk at a French airport, through the eyes of a piranha.



Not very Kate Moss-y, if you ask me.



I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me


HOW THE FUCK IS THIS REPRESENTATIVE OF THE SONG?



Hype, it seems like you might be unfamiliar with forests. Here's some advice: they do not contain billboards.



-"Okay, so throw out some ideas."
-"Well, I bought way too many garbage bags on Saturday."
-"Let's run with that."



One of the great 1990s videos. Has all the staples of the era: dancing girls, fisheye, obscenely colorful sets and costumes, exploding lights (?), red Yankees caps, Bentleys, Puffy pretending to be Tiger, Mase floating in a zero-gravity chamber...



Those headlights were pretty damn awesome when they first came out.



Will Smith is FORTY years old now. His cardio is probably finite.



What. The. Fuck.



You can't understate Hype's impact. He taught a fucking puppet how to play the piano.



Busta Rhymes was so damn lucky he found Hype. Has anyone ever actually stuck a Busta Rhymes album in a CD player and hit play? Without video accompaniment?



DMX spits such hot game that it actually looks like the mic is on fire.



Jesus was a big fan of Vitamin C.

Videos: Q-Tip, "Vivrant Thing"; Usher, "Nice and Slow"; Kanye West, "Stronger"; TLC, "No Scrubs"; R. Kelly, "I Believe I Can Fly"; Missy Elliott, "The Rain"; Notorious BIG ft. Puff Daddy & Mase, "Mo Money, Mo Problems"; Mase, "Feel So Good"; Will Smith, "Gettin' Jiggy With It"; Busta Rhymes ft. Janet Jackson, "What's It Gonna Be"; Blackstreet, "No Diggity"; Busta Rhymes, "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See"; DMX, "Get At Me Dog"; Nas ft. Puff Daddy, "Hate Me Now."