Wow, where to begin?
I would not wish this movie on anybody. It is terrible, and not terrible like the original Saw, but exponentially worse, and borderline unwatchable.
The acting -- obviously -- is horrible. WTF is it about the Saw franchise that requires this intricate mix of failed pornstars and soap rejects? I get it that 70% of the movie is either an unintelligible "AAAHHH" or "FUCCKKKKKK!!!!", but seriously, these guys make Skeet Ulrich in Scream look like Daniel Day-Lewis.
As has become a progressively worse trend as each new Saw is pumped out, the gore is lame, the suspense nonexistent, and the Jigsaw methodology completely uninspired. The opening killing had me chuckling nervously, which any Saw viewer is required to do in order to balance his reaction to the film's gruesome nature with his instinct to just laugh at how horrible the whole thing is. Maybe one of Jigsaw's "experiments" in Saw VI will be forcing people to watch each previous installment in order to live.
Not to mention that this franchise is one of the biggest offenders of revisionism I've ever seen. Every fucking movie they change the background information used in the previous movies. As such, about half of each new movie (and this one was only 90 minutes) is simply flashbacks to previous editions, which should mean that they can use this freed up room in the budget for better FX or actors, but then this gets circular...
WOULD SOMEONE TURN ON THE LIGHTS? Nobody uses any lights in any of the Saws. It's ridiculous. Someone walks into the main office of a police station and everyone is toiling in the dark. WTF?
The whole Jigsaw idea is dead. He has totally lost his appeal. He is Barack Obama in 2014. Just, for the love of fuck, stop. I'm sick of the little cackling dummy, the gruff voice, the ability to acquire infinite free warehouse space in which to concoct your human experiments. Plus you're totally getting lazy. In this movie you threatened people with nail bombs, beheadings, and body crushing. It's death... there are a million ways to do it. Get creative. And you're just killing people randomly now. You used to do it for "moral" reasons; get a paroled killer off the streets, teach a drug addict a lesson, and so forth. In this movie you said "I want to play a game" to people that were guilty of GRAFT AND PATRONAGE. You're a fucking fictional serial killer, not Patrick Fitzgerald. GTFO.
Don't. Ever. See This.
