Caption Contests, Swampland Edition

I absolutely loathe caption contests, and yet I am always drawn to them. The reason for the latter is the same as the reason for the former. In short: the average person is not funny, and the average person purposely trying to be funny is even worse. So, caption contests invariably suck, but I enjoy checking out the responses in order to confirm that people haven't become any more funny in the past four months, when I last scoped out a "Caption This Photo!"

The C.C. du jour is this gem from TIME's Swampland blog:



Here is a sampling of the entries:

Hi, ho. Hi, ho. It's off to work we go!

Seriously? Like, did you actually think this was a winning caption?

Not only has the President relaxed the White House dress code, but he has also done away with the "all the President's men must walk in lockstep" rule of the previous administration.

In theory, this isn't horrible, but it errs massively in not being pithy. One of the rules to these types of contests is that you need it be short and sweet, 99% of the time. The other 1%, you can succeed with an extended caption if you're really, really good at capturing the sentiment humorously. This guy obviously fails.

"Into the sh**storm. You first, Joe."

I don't like the exact wording, but the idea is not bad.

I'm President of the United States and I still have to wait in line for the bathroom.

Funny on first glance. Less funny on second glance when you realize they're nowhere near a bathroom.

"Today, Miramax released promo pictures from its remake of 'The Commitments.' Not pictured is Morgan Freeman, who will appear in a cameo as Wilson Pickett."

Trying Too Hard: Chapter 1.

Joe Biden, having just secured funding for his beloved trains, proceeded to make a practical demonstration of how they work.

I like it.

High Ho, High Ho, it's off to work we go...a budget mess, a job of stress, High Ho, High Ho....

This is the type of thing I actually wouldn't be surprised to see printed in The Week or something like that. But it is really really awful.

You do realize Mr. President that there are more of us here than there were republicans that voted to save America?

Jokes like this are why HuffPo-wing Democrats are so fucking annoying to be around.