Idol, 3/10 -- Top 13

PICKS TO GO: ANOOP, MICHAEL (LAST MINUTE EDIT: ANOOP, MEGAN)

Big stage.

Randy: "Bring it hard... everybody in this 13 could probably win this whole thing." No.

Theme: MICHAEL. FUCKIN. JACKSON.

Lil Rounds: I like how they give Lil Rounds the worst spot now that it's back to regular format Idol (i.e., top 11 move on, instead of top 3 move on). "The Way You Make Me Feel"... This is good I guess. I hate this song though. Seems like a very gay arrangement. She has a nice set of pipes. Eminently professional, too. Randy: "You just put a whole new spin on it." Kara: "Everyone's gotta be like 'uh-oh.'" Paula: "You are the force to be reckoned with." Simon: "I hate what you're wearing." I'm still not totally sure if Lil Rounds is a pseudonym or just, like, a real name...?

Blind Scott: Bizarro Mr. Holland's Opus. "Keep the Faith"... At the piano. I hate this guy. And it's not that he's bad, it's just that he's thoroughly unremarkable, and coasting on the fact that his retinae don't work. The blind piano player shtick is reserved for black guys, dude. Kara: "Hopeful message." BULLSHIT. GET OUT. This sucks. It's cyclical: the judges cannot say anything negative about a blind guy. Paula: "Magical." Wow. Simon: "I hated the song... It's fine being artistic, just not on this show." This is painful to watch. Randy: "Felt safe for me... I wanna see more sparks from you." HEY RANDY -- HE HAS NO EYESIGHT.

Danny: "Pretty Young Thing"... Sporting the Robert Downey, Jr. look. I don't even feel like reviewing him since he's such a lock for the top 4. He's very good though imo. Go Gokey. Blew. It. Out. Da. Box. Paula: "I think you're on your way to the finals." Simon: "Vocals were brilliant." Randy: "I loved it all." Kara: "You have joy."

Michael: I have a hunch he is going home tonight. Bad spot for him, and bad theme for him. "You Are Not Alone"... He is like the a Dallas 14-year-old's dream date. I hate this. Nobody will remember this by the end of the show. Get out. Simon: "You're not the best singer... you made up for it with passion." God. Randy: "You definitely one of the best in this right now dude." Kara: "Tonight showed me you really can sing." Paula: "Regular guy who has extraordinary talent."

Jasmine: "I'll Be There"... I like her. She's very unpretentious. I like the pipes too. Randy: "You did a pretty good job." Kara: "You sold it." Paula: "Tremendous composure." Simon: "Little bit robotic, at times..." What. LOL. Awkward silence.

Kris: "Remember The Time"... I really do feel like this guy could be a star. Kinda weird arrangement. He has no capacity for high notes, that's for sure. He's just a music-video friendly dude. Actually, scratch that. This performance sucks. I still like him though. Kara: "One thing's for sure -- the girl's love Kris." Paula: "I truly believe no one knows Michael's catalogue better than you." WTF does that mean? Simon: "You're very likable."

Allison: "Give In To Me"... She's totally Kelly Clarkson 2.0 with a spritz of goth. I don't thing she's very special but everyone seems to think she's the Second Coming, so whatever. Paula: "Are you 16 or 17?" Simon: "Good performance... we know who you are." Randy: "I always say, if you got it, you got it, and you just born wit it." Randy does not know what he's saying.

Anoop: Few exist whom I want to die more than Anoop. At least he's ridiculously confident. "Beat It"... LOLLLLLLLLL. What a cartoon. Who does this song? You need a high, high, HIGH voice dude. First awful performance of the night. Just go home you gimmick monkey. Paula: "Hi Anoop... I think the song is untouchable." Thank you. Simon: "Horrible." YES. LEAVE. Randy: "Wrong choice, baby." Kara: "You didn't go up, you didn't do any riffs..."

Jorge: "Never Gonna Say Goodbye"... Wow, die. Now. He is like the worst Ricky Martin-Enrique Iglesias hybrid germ ever. He looks like Simba. This is atrocious. GO. HOME. Randy: "Meh." Kara: "I didn't feel that." Paula: "You know I have mad love." Wat. Simon: "Old-fashioned."

Megan: "Rockin Robin"... She is really cute, but man I hate her. With a ridiculous passion. So pedestrian. Paula: "I felt disconnected." Simon: "What a stupid song choice." Randy: "It didn't allow you to really be Megan."

Adam: "Black and White"... This guy is such top 2 material. Not even close. Very, very entertaining. I'm not sure what genre he fits into, to be honest. Paula: "So comfortable, seasoned." Simon: "Totally different league." Randy: "Straight to the top of the charts." Kara: "You hit notes -- I didn't even know they existed."

Matt: "Human Nature"... I retract my earlier praise of this guy. He's just utterly lame. Pretty boilerplate. Randy: "You got that Robin Thicke-Justin Timberlake jumpin' off, man." Kara: "Talented guy." Paula: "Talented, sex, amazing." Simon: "Meat and potatoes."

Alexis: "Dirty Diana"... She is really cute. Good performance IMO. Good voice. Kara: "You're back!" Paula: "Fantastic." Simon: "Very over the top, not as good as you thought it was." Randy: "Good."