It's a good bet that I would have enjoyed this more if I were a four-year-old girl. However, with all the returns in, it was a pretty damn fun movie. Throughout a lot of it, I was thinking about Miley Cyrus and whether she would have ever banged John Travolta's now-dead son. Usually, this is a pretty damning thing to say about a movie, especially one that's only 90 minutes in length. But in this case... it's a good thing? I mean, you don't need a double Ph. D. to appreciate Bolt, so there was lots of free time for me to, while focusing on the movie, also focus on other things. Like how much of a gap there is between Pixar animation and Disney animation. And how awesome John Travolta's voice is on a dog. And how amazingly awful Miley Cyrus's voice is, period.
Miley Cyrus sounds like a retarded kid who spent eight years in Alabama. Her voice is obnoxious, dumb, grating, and utterly fake. I know it's fake because I deny the possibility that anyone actually sounds like that. Sure, I mean, she sounds like it now. But it's merely the byproduct of an aggressive stage mother, a rapist father, and zero education since kindergarten. Her voice is a lab creation, through and through. And it pisses me the fuck off.
Luckily, Miley Cyrus's character is merely a bit role in Bolt. The real star of Bolt is Bolt, who is really cute, kinda dumb, and very earnest. He and his feline friend (voiced by Susie Essman, noted CYE Jew) have a lot of great interplay, and are overall very well-written. I also need to tip my cap to the Truman Show-y plot. I think it's a tricky thing to pull off in a film like this, where you have to make it smart enough to not be retarded but retarded enough to make sense to toddlers. These guys did it pretty damn well.
