Looking Up "Convenience" In The Jewish Dictionary

Today's Times had a delightful little piece entitled "Making Kosher a Little More Convenient." Going through all the kosher motions is a real bitch, and the writers thought they would offer some tips on how to make things a bit easier for America's practicing Jews. And so, as someone who enjoys heaps of Monterey Jack on his burgers, I eagerly delved into the article, expecting to be humored a bit as I ate breakfast.

It turns out that the editors of the Times have not inhabited reality in quite some time. Here is how they suggest that kosherites change up the kitchen to make things easier:

FEATURES The new appliances and stations include: 1. Meat microwave. 2. Dairy microwave. 3. Sub-Zero fridge with “Sabbath mode.” 4. Double wall oven, with separate units for meat and dairy. 5. Meat sink. 6. Meat dishwasher. 7. Dairy sink. 8. Double dishwasher, with separate drawers for meat and dairy. 9. Warming drawer

And the cost? JUST PENNIES, I TELL YOU:

The kitchen renovation cost about $100,000, including $25,000 for the appliances, said Mr. Alt, who is 51.

How To Paint Jews In a Good Light 101. Lesson 1: Don't write these articles.