Idol, 5/19 -- FINALE

Let's. Do. This.

Pre-show, you've gotta be betting on Adam. Kris just isn't good enough, and this night should expose his flaws handily.

Adam: "Mad World"... Very good, great even. Like how he changed stuff up from his version a few months ago. Randy: "This is it!... An A for Adam!" Kara: "Incredible artist... changed the game up." Paula: "Unbelievably proud." Simon: "A little bit over-theatrical." Simon Cowell insinuating that Adam Lambert is gay. Shocking development.

Kris: Fuck this talentless hack. Get him out of here. If he wins it'll be like Watts '65. Only not really. "Ain't No Sunshine"... WTF. You lose. GTFO. Hated this originally. I mean, it's not bad or anything, he just has the vocal strength of a four-week-old squirrel. Webster's definition of bland. Randy: "I can tell exactly what kind of artist you are." Kara: "If you can't feel a Kris Allen performance... there's something wrong with you." Oh my God. Paula: "You awaken the spirit in all of us." Lol. Simon: "When your name was announced last week, I wasn't sure America made the right choice. I absolutely take all that back after that performance." WTF...

Adam: "Change Is Gonna Come"... This version rocks. How can Kris possibly win this justifiably? Okay, the screeching was self-indulgent. But come on. Randy: "What you did just there... you can sing your face off!" Kara: "That may have been your best performance." Paula: "[Unintelligible.]" Simon: "You are 100% back in the game."

Kris: "What's Goin' On"... This is such lame Jason Castro, acoustic-style cop out. If you can't sing with electric guitars, just sit down with a fucking mandolin and pretend to be a Mexican street entertainer. So lame. Randy: "We got ourselves a real, live duel competition... A little bit light for this big ol' room." Owned. Kara: "True to yourself." Paula: "Made Marvin Gaye proud." Simon: "It was like three friends in their bedroom, strumming along to Marvin Gaye... Sorry." Awesome.

Adam: "No Boundaries"... Oh man, this song fucking blows. Kara should throw herself off something. It's like an elementary school band covering Dream Theater. What the hell can you even say about that. Randy: "Dude, you can sing the phonebook. It was just aight." Uh, lol. Kara: "It is amazing." Paula: "Adjectives can't express what you've brought to this season." Only verbs, obviously. Simon: "Over the entire season, you've been one of the best, most original contestants we're ever had on this show." Sick praise.

Kris: "No Boundaries"... This arrangement is superior to Adam's, but again, his actually vocal range is fucking awful. So mundane. Randy: "You should be very proud of what you've done in this competition." Kara: "You've come into your own." Paula: "You should take it in." Simon: "Your mum and dad's face tells me everything."