I'm still wondering how this movie got greenlighted. It's of no societal value. Its best moments are still retarded. It borrows cinematic ideas from 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. It's socially unacceptable for any human being over the age of 11 to admit they enjoyed it.
And I loved it.
Well, "love" is too strong. This is a film about an obese mall security guard from New Jersey who, in the midst of trying to get the chick that everyone seems to want (and for good reason--Jayma Mays is really cute), encounters a Black Friday from hell where a band of high-tech ninjas try to rob a mall. Something about credit card codes and the Cayman Islands. It's not a gripping plot.
But Paul Blart is still, somehow--let me really stress the "somehow" part; I seriously have no fucking idea why I liked this--a devilishly fun romp. Kevin James is mostly just awesome, and the film is bleeding all over itself with innocence. In the run-up to the release date, it seemed as though this would be another goofball, dirty joke comedy in the typical Adam Sandler vein. But it's really not that at all. It's essentially a family movie. Now, I would draw up a firm set of judgments about any family I saw at Paul Blart on opening weekend--no college degree; cabinet full of SPAM; one child who's at least 240 pounds; McCain voters--but it's still a family movie in the truest sense of the term. It's not raunchy or high-brow (hard to believe, right?), and it's rife with cheap slapstick that sits right, smack dab, front court center in an 10-year-old boy's wheelhouse.
And so I guess I'm 10 years old.
